


Keep My Mind Off the Edge

by SEMellark



Category: Free!
Genre: Blade Runner AU, Blood, M/M, Murder, Violence, human/android sex cause im hella into that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEMellark/pseuds/SEMellark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka sees the world in varying shades of gray when everyone else sees only in black and white.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep My Mind Off the Edge

**Author's Note:**

> If you've been wondering why I haven't been updating my other Free! stories, it's because of this fucking monster. The idea wouldn't leave me to my peace until I finished it, so now that it's done, I'll be back on track. 
> 
> If you haven't seen the movie Blade Runner or read the book it's based off of, do it. I promise you won't regret it.

Cold, strong fingers encircle the column of his neck in a vice grip, and a bloodied thumb presses too hard against his trachea. He doesn’t fight, is paralyzed by the hatred he sees in the eyes staring down at him, the loss and the fury.

Everything that shouldn’t be is present in those eyes.

Haruka believes the ghosts of his past have finally returned for retribution, and for a moment, he wonders if he should let them have their wicked way with him.

“Maybe if I kill you now, he’ll come back to me.” Haruka grits his teeth, digging his nails into the tough skin of his assailant in a pitiful attempt at freedom. “Once you’re gone, he’ll have _nothing_ tying him here.”

“You’re wrong.” Haruka manages to choke out, unable to keep from smirking even while being strangled. “He’ll come after you if I don’t come home. He’ll – He’ll _kill you.”_

“Tch, you humans think so highly of yourselves. You’re just one piece of ass in an entire fucking world full of – “

Five shots ring out in quick succession, and blood spatters Haruka’s face as the grip around his neck loosens, and his assailant falls uselessly against him. He’s coughing as he roughly pushes the body away, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes without permission.

“Are you alright, sir?” A voice asks, and Rei steps from the shadows as Haruka pushes himself into a slouched position. He still has his finger poised over the trigger, violet eyes narrowed and steps cautious as he approaches Haruka and the dead body beside him. “You hardly ever need my help.”

“I didn’t.” Haruka croaks, rubbing at his throat and wincing at the mere thought of the bruises that are sure to form there. Vaguely, he wonders how much Rei heard. “They always get sloppy when they think they’ve won.”

Those Replicants really are strong motherfuckers, though Haruka can count how many times he’s had close calls with them on one hand. So it doesn’t really matter if the guys down at the office have a nice laugh when they read the report or see his bruises. They can chuckle all they want about how Ryuugazaki had to save Nanase’s ass.

None of it changes the fact that Haruka is one of the best Blade Runners in the district. It’s in his blood. Being a bounty hunter is all he really knows.

“He was the last one?” Rei clicks the safety of his gun into place before offering a hand to Haruka, which the older man takes with little hesitation. It’s dark, well past curfew for Tokyo’s respected citizens, and all Haruka wants to do is head home and take a shower, as many as it takes to clean the blood from his body. “From the outer Mars colony?”

“Mikoshiba Seijuro.” Haruka says. “He was a Labor Model. Had him moving gear on ships between launches before he defected with the rest.”

Rei nods slightly, holstering his gun with one hand as he adjusts his glasses with the other. “Well, it only took us three years, but we got them all. I must say, I’m impressed. I don’t know of anyone else who could retire two Replicants in less than a week.”

Haruka shakes his head, though he won’t meet the other Blade Runner’s eyes, so filled with respect. “This one is yours.”

“But _you_ tracked him down. I won’t ask how. I guess it’s just something I’ll have to learn.”

Rei has it all wrong, though in Haruka’s opinion, that’s nothing new.

Mikoshiba came to Haruka, not the other way around.

But the less Rei and the rest of the team know about it, the better.

“I’m tired.” Haruka says, brushing past Rei and heading straight for the exit. The housing unit they’re in is way past its prime, dank from rain and smelling of rot and sewage. Haruka supposes the one he lives in isn’t much better, but at least the roof doesn’t leak. “Contact the Director and get a crew out here to pick up the body.”

“Yes, sir.” Rei says, always quick to comply, and Haruka leaves the building in a rush.

The streets are far from vacant as Haruka steps outside. This is the business hour, when the prostitutes and drug dealers and black market merchants leave their dens and prowl without worrying about the cops. Haruka himself has a badge, and he’s been told before that he has a “cop” look, but the men and women he passes in the streets take one look at him and just _know_ that he’s a Blade Runner and has no real power over them.

But for all Haruka knows, one out of every ten people he sees could be a possible target.

Androids. Replicants. Skin-jobs. There are as many names to call them as the many faces they wear, and Haruka still hasn’t heard or seen every one. They’re created by humans to serve humans, robots wearing human skin that are indistinguishable to the untrained eye.

The Replicants are slaves. They are given fake memories to disguise the fact that they aren’t really human. They’re intelligent, so much so that it didn’t take them long to realize that they weren’t being treated fairly, and when that happened, they began to rebel.

A war erupted that lasted nearly a decade, humans and androids, one group unable to completely outwit the other. The humans were at a distinct disadvantage, because they never knew if someone was really who they said they were. The differences between man and the machines they created were few and far between, and no one could truly leave their back unguarded.

Eventually, tests were developed to distinguish Replicants from humans, because the one thing that androids lack in comparison to their creators is empathy. They can’t see life through someone else’s eyes, and a lack of reaction to a certain series of questions usually indicates an android.

But that is the only difference, if one doesn’t consider the possibility of a soul, which Haruka doesn’t. Haruka has retired Replicants that didn’t even _know_ they weren’t human until he came knocking. The memories they have are true until they are told otherwise, and most of the time, the androids react badly to the truth.

He is a Blade Runner, a bounty hunter sent to kill the Replicants, who are widely seen as the cause of the Robotic War nearly two decades previously. Haruka thinks the whole thing could have been avoided if only humans weren’t so simple-minded, but he was only a child when it all happened, so who is he to really say?

Haruka is a Blade Runner only because a Replicant killed his mother when he was a small boy. His father, overcome by grief, was one of the very first Blade Runners in Japan, and he made sure Haruka followed in his footsteps.

His father is now the Director of the Japan Division of Blade Runners, and Haruka is one of his reluctant underlings.

It’s been a long time since Haruka actually wanted retribution for his mother’s early passing. In truth, he doesn’t really remember her, and he doesn’t know exactly why that android had killed her.

There are too many gray areas. Haruka has lost track.

A roll of thunder booms and a stroke of lightning illuminates the sky, so powerful the light manages to pass through the thick layer of smog that consumes the city. Haruka has seen pictures of Tokyo from before the war, before the Replicants, and he can’t imagine a city with so many lights and top-line machinery existing in his time.

The 2056 version of Tokyo that Haruka lives in is a far cry from how it was back in the year 2020. Life was so much clearer back then, though the irony of it has long since lost its hilarity.

But, Haruka thinks as he ducks into the front door of his housing unit, it actually hasn’t been long at all. A mere three years ago, he was just as blind as Rei and the other Blade Runners back at the station, and _Replicants_ were the ones to change his mind, the very things he was supposed to spend his life hunting.

Three years ago, five Nexus-6 androids – the newest and most evolved model to be created before the war – appeared in Tokyo, and their capture and retirement was said to be absolutely crucial.

Haruka and Rei were paired together as senior and junior Blade Runners to dispatch the androids together, though Haruka only personally saw to the three Combat Models: Matsuoka Rin, Mikoshiba Momotarou, and Tachibana Makoto.

Rei will probably say in the report that Haruka dealt with Mikoshiba Seijuro as well, so on record, the younger man will only have retired Pleasure Model Hazuki Nagisa in his budding career as a bounty hunter.

The Pleasure Models are always the tricky ones. Haruka remembers Nagisa well, the magenta eyes and blond hair and distinctly feminine appearance. He had a way about him that, looking back, Haruka thinks was well suited to the homesick womanizers who made up the outer colonies on Mars.

That was exactly why he was a horrible match for Rei, who was fresh out of the Academy when the Nexus-6 models first returned to Earth. The new recruits are typically more susceptible to getting sucked in by an android’s appeal – especially a Pleasure Model – and Rei was no exception.

All of those Replicants will stick with him well into the future, Haruka knows. They were different than any of the others Haruka has retired since he was instated as a Blade Runner when he was eighteen, almost eight years ago. The five of them continue to haunt his memory, and he’s certain that Rei remembers to some degree as well, though he’s already paid to have his memories altered to suit his skewed view of the world.

They’d been friends with three of them, after all. Rin, Nagisa, and Makoto.

But that was before their human identities had been compromised. After the report came in, after Rei and Haruka saw their faces, their friends were renegade Replicants and nothing more.

Or, that was how Rei chose to see them.

Haruka hadn't known what to think, but he did as he was told and cut them all down, one by one.

On record, all five androids are retired. Rin’s and Momotarou’s – and now Seijuro’s – bodies were taken into custody for further experimentation, and Nagisa and Makoto were burned.

But, Haruka muses as he hurries up the steps to his floor and carefully punches in the security code to his own unit, the Director and those under his command aren’t as in-tune with this city and its inhabitants as they think. In their eyes, Haruka’s record is clean. He has never failed a mission.

“Haru?”

What they don’t know is that Haruka lives with failure. It’s his lover.

“You shouldn’t do that.” Haruka says as he kicks the front door shut behind him. The apartment is dark, but Haruka underwent a surgery when he was a teenager to enhance his vision, so he sees everything when Makoto materializes in front of him. “What if it was someone else?”

“You’re not the type to have friends over when you’re working.” Makoto points out, and Haruka rolls his eyes. He hasn’t had friends in years, not since Rin and Nagisa died and Rei had his memory altered. He just has the one now. “And your dad would never come here. Who else is left?”

“You know what I meant.”

“I know what your footsteps sound like.” Makoto says with a small laugh. He never did much of that when Haruka first met him. “I knew it was you the moment you walked into the building.”

Haruka shakes his head with a sigh, exasperated, and Makoto smiles down at him, the playful glint in his green eyes fading away. He takes a step forward, reaching out to cup Haruka’s face between two broad palms, long fingers sliding into the dark hair at the base of the bounty hunter’s neck.

Haruka knows perfectly well that he places his life in Makoto’s hands whenever the android touches him like this. If he wanted, Makoto could easily kill him. All he has to do is apply the slightest bit of pressure, and everything would end with a burst.

But Makoto is careful, more so than any human Haruka has ever met, and he stoops down from his impeccable height to press his forehead to Haruka’s. “Welcome home.” He says quietly, and Haruka closes his eyes, suddenly realizing how tired he is. “I missed you, Haru.”

“I was only gone a week.” Haruka murmurs, though he knows what Makoto means.

He’s been gone for longer before, off on month-long missions where he cannot contact Makoto no matter how badly he wants to. Any time away from each other is too much, because they don’t know how long Makoto has left.

Like anything man made, androids have expiration dates. They’re built with them, for worker ants are never meant to last long.

Haruka could look at Makoto’s file from three years ago to find out, but he really doesn’t want to know, and neither does Makoto. So, they take what they can. They make every moment count. But it’s hard when Makoto can’t leave the apartment lest anyone find out he isn’t really dead.

“Let’s go to bed.” Makoto says. “It’s late, and you look exhausted.”

He’s staring straight into Haruka’s eyes, and the bounty hunter can only assume that his eyes are bloodshot from the choking. He knows he has to tell Makoto about Seijuro and Momotarou. They were friends once, and even if Makoto won’t say so, Haruka knows he misses them.

But he can’t find the words as Makoto leads him to the bedroom. Rin and Nagisa died before Makoto came to live with Haruka. The blue-eyed man has never had to deliver news like this to Makoto, and he’s not sure how to approach the subject.

However, Makoto is keen, and when Haruka starts to take off his coat, revealing the circle of bruises around his throat, Makoto doesn’t fail to take notice.

The android turns on the lamp that rests on the table beside the bed, and Haruka freezes in the middle of taking off his shirt. Makoto stares at him, expression blank. His eyes seem to glow, and Haruka is reminded that they are artificial.

“What happened?” Makoto asks. He’s come to accept that Haruka isn’t going to stop being a Blade Runner, but it’s still a touchy subject between them. “Who did you kill?”

Makoto refuses to say “retire,” as is the generally accepted term for killing androids. Haruka has always loved and hated that about Makoto. Interacting with him is always sobering.

“Momo and Seijuro.” Haruka begins slowly, finally managing to take off his shirt. Now that he’s paying attention, he’s fairly certain he broke some ribs in his fight with Seijuro. Makoto seems to notice, for he makes a sympathetic little noise despite the suspicion in his eyes. “They’re… They’re gone, Makoto.”

Makoto just stands there for a moment, and when he finally moves, he does so slowly, moving around Haruka to grab the ace bandages he keeps on his dresser. “You didn’t tell me you were hunting them.”

“I didn’t want you to worry.” Haruka replies, turning his back to Makoto and lifting his arms so his lover can start to bandage his broken ribs. They’ve done this before, numerous times, and Haruka is thankful for the routine while they have this conversation. “But I should have said something. I’m sorry.”

“Did you kill them both?”

“Only Momo.” Haruka says, gritting his teeth as Makoto wraps the bandages around his torso as tightly as he can. “Rei shot Seijuro.”

Makoto finishes his work silently, efficiently, and Haruka turns to face him once he’s certain he’s done. Makoto tosses the roll of bandages on the bed before meeting Haruka’s gaze. He looks impossibly sad, and Haruka feels like the absolute scum of the Earth.

“He did that to you?” It isn’t really a question. Makoto is smart enough to answer his own suspicions. “And you let him?”

Haruka averts his gaze. “It’s not like I _asked_ him to beat the shit out of me.”

“But you could’ve overcome him. He isn’t – _wasn’t_ a Combat Model. You’re faster and stronger than he was.” Makoto says. “Rei’s never had to save you before.”

“I wanted to find another way. I didn’t _want_ to kill him. He only – “ Haruka stops, hesitates. “He only wanted me to pay for killing Momo. I guess I can understand that. He thought if he killed me, you would join him again and he wouldn’t be alone.”

“No. I would’ve hunted him down and killed him myself if you hadn’t come back.”

“I know. That’s what I tried to tell him.”

Makoto frowns, opens his mouth to say something else but seems to think better of it, sighing to himself as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“I guess Rei still doesn’t remember, then?”

“He never will, Makoto. He received the highest quality of memory alteration surgery available at the time. The person he used to be will never come back.”

There used to be a time when Rei was one of Haruka’s closest friends. They are separated in age by only two years, and Haruka was still new around the department when Rei graduated.

They became fast friends. Back then, they shared the same ideals, and Haruka could relax knowing that Rei was around to watch his back.

Together, they met Makoto, Nagisa, and Rin at a bar after work. Together, they formed fast friendships with the men whom – at the time – they didn’t know weren’t human. Haruka was present when Rei started dating Nagisa, and Rei was there to help Makoto break up a bar fight that Haruka and Rin started.

They were together when they realized that their friends were androids, but Haruka was alone when he killed Rin, just as Rei was alone when he killed Nagisa.

Haruka had _known_ Rei would be the one to go after Nagisa. And after Rin’s death, Haruka had started to see their lifestyle in a different light, and although he tried, he hadn't been able to make it in time.

Nagisa was choking on blood in Rei’s apartment when Haruka arrived, and Haruka was the one who held Nagisa as the android died.

“I’ve been through worse.” Nagisa had said, blood bubbling at his lips. He’d been stabbed clean through, hacked to pieces, missing fingers and toes and even an eye, but he somehow managed to smile up at Haruka as the human trembled in horror. “At least Rei-chan actually loves me.”

“He isn’t a real person.” Rei was raging in the other room, pacing back and forth, tossing odd objects against walls, and Haruka wanted to scream at him to stop, to hold his damn boyfriend and _fix what he broke,_ but there was no repairing Nagisa. “He isn’t _real_.”

“You’ll take care of him, won’t you, Haru-chan?” Nagisa asked, and when he started hacking, Haruka reached up to wipe the blood from his chin and cheeks with trembling, ghost-white fingers. “Because he’s your friend?”

“Goddammit, Nagisa, he _murdered you!”_

And Nagisa laughed, all bloodied gums and missing teeth. “Like you're any better.”

The worst part was that Rei chose to forget. He had his memories altered the very next day. He forgot Nagisa, forgot their love and their friendship and everyone else along with it. Haruka became Rei’s supervising officer, and it’s been that way ever since.

Haruka can’t look at Rei in the same light. The violet-eyed Blade Runner doesn’t even know how dangerous he really is. No one does, aside from Haruka, because he burned Nagisa’s body to hide his wounds. Even bounty hunters have standards, and Rei’s act of savagery would have ended his career.

Some part of Haruka still feels sick for having protected him. Rei, who used to be his friend. But a stronger part makes Haruka unable to regret what he did.

He’d done it for Nagisa, after all.

“Haru.” Makoto says loudly, and Haruka is pulled from the melancholic wave of his own memories.

“Anyway. It’s done.” Haruka sighs, running a hand through his hair in agitation. “Everyone thinks you’re dead, so I’ll officially be off the case now. I should be home for a while this time.”

“You always say that.” Makoto replies, but his tone is fond, so Haruka doesn’t feel too badly.

The green-eyed android moves forward to crouch in front of Haruka, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down his legs since Haruka can’t do it himself. He thinks Makoto would make a good parent if circumstances were different, if he weren’t an android, if he hadn’t chosen Haruka.

Of course, another flaw in an android’s design is that they cannot bear or sire children. They cannot create life, though some – like Makoto – were given the nature for it.

Haruka remembers that as the first thing he noticed about Makoto when they first met. Nagisa and Rin never could hold their alcohol very well, and Makoto spent most of that first night keeping a watchful eye over his friends while simultaneously keeping up conversation with Rei and Haruka.

That was what Haruka fell in love with initially, the laid-back, cheerful attitude Makoto somehow managed to maintain in what was – in Haruka’s mind, at least – a post-apocalyptic world. The attraction was mutual in more ways than one, but neither of them acted on it for quite some time, even when Rei and Nagisa started seeing one another nearly a month after they met.

When Haruka found out they were all androids, his first instinct was to feel betrayed. He convinced himself Makoto had been faking everything, from the lingering glances to the slow smiles and everything in-between.

Rin spent his last moments trying to convince Haruka that none of it had been forced.

“You humans are the dumbest motherfuckers.” He’d spat, punching Haruka in the face mostly out of exasperation. Looking back, Rin had probably known that he was going die. Most Replicants resigned themselves to his or her fate within five minutes of struggling to gain ground with Haruka. “Makoto _loves_ you, you dick!”

“Nice try.” Haruka said, spitting blood at Rin’s feet while simultaneously whipping out his pistol and pointing it directly at the Replicant’s artificial heart. “But you androids aren’t capable of love.”

Haruka will never forgive himself for making the last words Rin ever heard so hateful and untrue. They were uttered in the heat of the moment, when Haruka was under the influence of his own heartbreak, because he’d never allowed anyone as close as he’d let Makoto.

He didn’t see the truth until Nagisa lay dying in his arms, and again when he finally managed to track Makoto down a few weeks after that, in the bathroom of the bar where they first met.

Makoto hadn’t tried to run. He’d been washing his hands at the sink when Haruka walked in, and he tracked the Blade Runner’s movements through the mirror as Haruka locked the door behind him.

“I wondered when you’d show up.” Makoto had said. They’ve talked about that night extensively, and Makoto admitted that he went to the bar every night after Nagisa died under the assumption that Haruka would find him eventually. The android had been ready to die. “Took longer than I’d anticipated.”

“You aren’t going to fight me?”

Makoto smiled ruefully, shaking his head. “No, Haru, I won’t fight you.”

“Why?” Haruka demanded.

“Up on the colonies, they used me in the ring, you know? Like they used to pit roosters or dogs against each other before they went extinct. They’d bet on us and watch us fight for their amusement. When we left, I swore I would never raise my fists to anyone again, and I’d rather die than hurt you more than I already have. Just… do it quickly, okay?”

He hadn't been able to. Haruka was ready, gun drawn and safety removed and eyes strategically averted from Makoto’s, but he hadn't been able to pull the trigger. Instead, he thought about Rin’s resolve and Nagisa’s faith, and he lowered his weapon.

Haruka then took Makoto home and proceeded to try to undo all the wrongs he’d committed, even though he never truly believed he could do it.

“Haru?” Makoto says again. He sounds concerned. “Are you okay?”

Haruka shakes his head, wiping at his burning eyes with a clenched fist, feeling for all the world like a stubborn child. He doesn’t get like this often, doesn’t allow his memories to overcome him when he needs to focus on the future.

But with Makoto, Haruka lets himself go. With Makoto, Haruka can be weak.

“I can’t stop thinking about Nagisa and Rin.” Haruka admits, squeezing his eyes shut. “I want them back.”

“I know you do.” Makoto stands up, reaching out to take Haruka’s arm and turn him toward the bed. “But you were only doing your job.”

“That’s no excuse!” Haruka snaps, sitting down on the bed and aggravating his injuries in the process. Makoto makes a small noise of reprove, and Haruka glares up at him. “Why can’t you see that I’m a hazard to you? What if I wake up one day and decide to kill you while you’re sleeping?”

“You wouldn’t though.” Makoto says, confused, and Haruka rolls his eyes, falling back against the pillows with a frustrated sigh.

The two of them lapse into silence, Haruka seething and Makoto just unsure of what to say. Eventually, Makoto seems to make up his mind, and he climbs onto the bed beside Haruka.

“I’m going to blindfold you with this, okay?” Makoto says, holding up the ace bandages, and Haruka only nods because he’s too exhausted to do much else. They hardly ever experiment because the time they have together is limited and brief, but Haruka is still willing to go along with whatever Makoto has in mind.

He lies still as Makoto effectively cuts off one of his major senses and then removes Haruka’s briefs. It’s normally the kind of thing that would set Haruka off, but the thing about being with Makoto is that Haruka never feels vulnerable. Makoto would never take advantage of the situation, which is something Haruka has been trained to watch out for.

If only his father could see him now, lying prone and submissive beneath a Nexus-6 android.

He’d probably retire the both of them personally.

“You’ve got that look on your face.” Makoto’s voice reaches Haruka’s ears, and while his sight is greatly hindered, Haruka can still tell when Makoto reaches over to turn off the lamp. “What’s so funny?”

“Just thinking about the Director.” Haruka replies honestly. “About what he would do if he could see me now.”

“He’d probably think I was taking advantage of you.” Haruka can feel warm breath on his face, that husky purr directly in his ear, and the shiver that races through him is completely involuntary. “I mean, come on. Nanase Haruka? Tokyo’s Shining Star? He would never spread his legs for an android, not even if his life were at stake.”

Haruka huffs, preparing to make some snarky retort, but then one of Makoto’s fingers is pressing into him and words become a foreign concept. “But,” Makoto continues, tone still low and gravely in the way he knows Haruka likes it, “you’re not what they say you are, are you, Haru? You’re not a machine.”

A machine. A slur used against the androids meant to dehumanize. But when the Director calls Haruka that, when the other men on the force say it, it’s meant to be praise.

And Makoto knows. He _knows_ Haruka doesn’t appreciate the term, and he uses it against Haruka like this, to remind him that he isn’t perfect, that he doesn’t follow orders down to the syllable, that his entire life is a lie.

Maybe it’s cruel. But it’s what Haruka needs, and Makoto considers himself to be Haruka’s primary caretaker.

“They don’t know that you saved me.” Makoto curls his finger, pushing the air out of Haruka’s lungs before adding another. “They don’t know that you made an android love you.”

“Makoto.” Haruka groans, throwing an arm over his eyes, no matter that he’s already unable to see. He can’t stand it when his lover toys with him like this, but it’s the best kind of torture after not seeing one another for so long. “I thought you said we were going to bed.”

“After.” Makoto murmurs, and Haruka can almost feel the artificial green gaze on him as the android continues to massage his inner walls. “You can’t sleep like this. Not when you’re blaming yourself for what happened.”

“I killed Rin.” Makoto curls his fingers again, almost in some form of retaliation. “And I let Nagisa die. It _is_ my fault.”

“No.” Makoto says, but he doesn’t elaborate.

Haruka is blinking rapidly behind the mottled fabric of the bandage when Makoto removes his fingers, but the head of Makoto’s cock, hot and probing, replaces them almost immediately, and again, Haruka can’t breathe.

Makoto stays true to his gentle nature as he pushes into Haruka, grasping at the crux of both of his knees to spread them further apart the slightest bit. Haruka forces himself to regulate his breathing, remaining mindful of his injuries and taking care to not breathe in too deeply. He curls his hands into fists, nails digging into the calloused skin of his palms, and _oh God if the Director knew about us –_

“Don’t think about it.” Makoto says softly, pulling out and pushing back in with all the care in the world, and it makes Haruka’s eyes wet. “It’s just us. You’re not a Blade Runner and I’m not an android and we just love each other, okay?”

“Why?” Haruka demands hoarsely, screwing his covered eyes shut completely. Spots of gray appear in his otherwise dark vision as he tries to do as Makoto said, but it’s hard. Haruka has tried to run away so many times in the past, but it just doesn’t work. He doesn’t deserve it, not when he has the blood of so many Replicants on his hands. “You should hate me. I should hate you.”

“I tried. Believe me, I did, and sometimes I still think I should.” Makoto has always been brutally honest. He’s an open book, wears his heart on his sleeve, and even back when they first met, Haruka could tell Makoto had something to hide. The android can’t lie to save his life, so he never tries unless it’s absolutely necessary. Luckily for him, Rei and Haruka hadn’t been wise enough to ask the right questions when they first met. “But I can’t. I _can’t,_ Haru, so don’t ask me to.”

Haruka laughs despite himself, and the twinge of pain he feels is almost worth it. He has so many hateful qualities. He’ll never understand why Makoto feels the way he does.

But Makoto is good. He never asked to be created, never asked to fight his fellow Replicants in the colonies. All he and the others wanted was to be free. They came back to Earth looking to start a new life, and humans fucked it all up for them.

None of them did anything wrong, and still, one by one, they paid the price. Until only Makoto was left, alone with a human lover whose sole purpose in life is to kill androids.

It’s so fucked up. They’re so fucked up.

Eventually, the pleasure is just too much and Haruka can’t help but lose himself, thinking of nothing but the warmth of Makoto’s cock inside him and the loving words he pushes out with every thrust.

“Your dad brainwashed you.” Makoto keeps his movements slow and languid, though it’s only because of Haruka’s broken ribs. If it were any other day, Haruka would probably be on his hands and knees. The bedroom is the only place Makoto allows himself to be even the slightest bit rough, because Haruka can take it, and it’s in his programming. He’s a Combat Model, after all. “You can’t blame yourself when you didn’t know any better. I don’t. And Rin and Nagisa wouldn’t either.”

“Stop.” Maybe he could say that three years ago, back when Rin and Nagisa died, but Momotarou and Seijuro died just recently. Haruka knew better then, and he could’ve stopped himself, spared Momo like he did Makoto, but he hadn’t. Granted, he wasn’t as close with the Mikoshiba brothers as he’d been with Rin, Nagisa, and Makoto, but still. “You don’t know what they’d think.”

“I’m smarter than you.” Makoto grunts, continuing with his gentle thrusting, and Haruka feels like he’s burning alive. “I’m smarter than the engineers who made me. So trust me. I know they wouldn’t blame you. Rin and Nagisa loved you, Haru. They knew they were going to die eventually, so it was better to go by the hand of a person they cared for than by a total stranger.”

 _At least Rei-chan loves me._ Those had been Nagisa’s last words, and Rin had been advocating for Makoto’s feelings up until his death. Haruka feels like he learns more about the Replicants with each passing day, and he doubts there is another Blade Runner who understands them as well as he does.

But it just occurred to him that maybe the androids know more about humans and their emotions than even humans themselves do.

Maybe they even feel them more deeply than anyone could’ve possibly anticipated.

Or maybe it’s just the Nexus-6 group, however many of them are still alive aside from Makoto at this point.

Nothing will ever make sense, no matter how much Haruka learns.

Haruka’s orgasm rips through him suddenly, and he can’t help his abrupt shout, or his wince of pain when it aggravates his injured throat. Makoto’s hips swiftly drag to a halt soon after, and his grip on Haruka’s legs tightens as he comes, panting for breath.

“Do you feel better?” Makoto asks after a while, not bothering to pull out just yet as he leans forward to tug the makeshift blindfold away from Haruka’s eyes.

The human blinks a few times, thankful that Makoto had turned off the lamp beforehand. “Not really. But I’ll be able to sleep now, thanks to you.”

Makoto sighs, but he still smiles down at Haruka cheekily. “I’m that good, huh?”

“I thought you were smarter than me. Shouldn’t you know?” Haruka retorts, tightening his legs around Makoto’s hips briefly. “Now get off. I’m exhausted.”

Makoto does as he’s told, pulling free of Haruka’s twitching entrance with little difficulty. Haruka then carefully rolls over onto his side, ready to forget about the day’s events, if only for a few hours. He hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since he was about fifteen.

“Don’t you want me to clean you up?” Makoto asks, pressing a feather light touch to Haruka’s lower back.

Haruka grabs a pillow and pulls it over his head. Maybe the fact that Makoto’s come is leaking from him should feel unsanitary, but Haruka finds he doesn’t really care tonight. “Just leave it. I like the way it feels.”

“You won’t be saying that in the morning.” Haruka feels a tug on his pillow, and he relents as Makoto pulls it away from his face as he settles down in the bed beside him, pulling the discarded blankets up around them as he does. “But, hey, anything for you, Haru.”

Haruka can’t help his small smile. He really only does that in front of Makoto nowadays, so it doesn’t feel as unnatural as it would otherwise. “Thank you.” He murmurs, scooting back a little so he and Makoto can share the same pillow. “I probably don’t say that enough.”

Makoto sighs, pressing his sweaty forehead to Haruka’s. “Like I said. Anything.”

* * *

It only feels like a matter of moments before Haruka is blinking awake, entire body sore and mind muddled as he struggles to figure out what woke him up. After another delirious moment, Haruka realizes that the telescreen is ringing.

“Please tell me they’re not calling you in.” Makoto says with a small yawn, burying his face in Haruka’s hair. He doesn’t really require sleep due to his programming, but he still does in order to pass time. “I’ll destroy that thing myself if I have to.”

“Have at it.” Haruka grumbles, though he disentangles himself from Makoto’s limbs in preparation to get out of bed. It’s still dark out, so Haruka imagines that it hasn’t been more than a few hours since they fell asleep. No one would call him this late unless it was something important, so naturally, Haruka is a little curious. “The Director was the one who bought it for me.”

It’s one of the only things Haruka actually let his father pay for. Initially, his father wanted him to live in some high-end facility closer to the station, though the buildings in Tokyo hardly vary in quality as far as Haruka is concerned. The neighborhood was better, maybe, but aside from that, there was no point in spending extra money.

So, when Haruka refused to live in the home of his father’s choice, the older man had insisted on paying for an alarm system to be installed, along with a telescreen, which the poorer neighborhoods don’t have. Haruka detested the stupid alarm at the time, but now that Makoto spends most of his time here alone, he’s grateful for it.

If the alarm goes off, Makoto knows to run and wait for Haruka to come find him. Thankfully, it’s never come to that, but Haruka never stops worrying.

“Stay here.” Haruka says as he leaves the bedroom. “I don’t know how long this will take.”

The word _UNKNOWN_ flashes on the telescreen as Haruka approaches it. He’s immediately on alert, for his number is private to prevent this sort of thing. Aside from the bandages around his torso, Haruka’s completely naked as he sits down at the chair near the desk the telescreen sits on, but that doesn’t stop him from answering. The caller can only see his upper half anyway.

“Accept.” He says loudly, and the ringing stops. An image of Rei appears on the screen, and Haruka has half a mind to relax. But Rei isn’t calling him from his own telescreen, is out on the streets where lots of people mill about behind him, and Haruka can’t figure out why. His partner is still dressed in the dark trench coat he’d been wearing when he shot Seijuro, and the smile on his face seems a little forced. “Rei? What is it?”

“They removed the body as you instructed, sir.” Rei says, and Haruka stares hard at the other man’s image. “The Director wants you to come in tomorrow morning to receive proper congratulations.”

If Haruka wasn’t suspicious before, then he definitely is now. His father has never once offered him congratulations for completing a hit in all the years he’s been a Blade Runner. Not when Haruka killed his first Replicant at sixteen and certainly not now, ten years later.

There’s something else. There has to be.

“I don’t think that’s doable.” Haruka says at length. He can’t tell Rei he has plans, because as far as anyone knows, Haruka has no acquaintances outside the force. No one can suspect anything. “Mikoshiba did a number on me. I could hardly get up to answer, let alone make it all the way down to the station.”

“The Director will be displeased.” Rei laments, and out of view, Haruka’s fists clench tightly. “He was looking forward to hearing how you managed to track down Mikoshiba.”

 _Fuck._ “It’s not an interesting story.”

“No offense, but you tend to downplay things, sir.” Rei seems to step closer to the public telescreen he’s using, and although it’s unnecessary, Haruka leans back the slightest bit. “You know, you really should think about getting a roommate. All that time alone up there can’t be good for you.”

“I’ve managed so far.” Haruka replies coolly. “I enjoy my solitude, Rei.”

“Still. You’ll lose your mind without a real person to talk to.”

As has become the trend lately, Haruka finds that he can’t breathe.

“Goodnight, sir.” Rei says when Haruka stays silent, and the screen goes dark.

“Haru?” Makoto is there immediately, fully clothed and wide-awake as he crouches beside Haruka’s chair, staring up at him with glowing green eyes. “What happened? I don’t understand what he wanted.”

“He knows.” Haruka says tersely, standing up so quickly he knocks the wooden chair to the ground. “He knows that you’re here.”

“How do you know?” Makoto asks, trailing after Haruka as he retreats back to the bedroom, ignoring his aching body as he hurries to dress himself. “I heard everything, but – “

“’He isn’t a real person.’” Haruka says sharply, and Makoto falls silent. “That’s what Rei kept saying after he hacked Nagisa to pieces. He _knows_ that you’re here, Makoto. Maybe he heard Seijuro and I talking about you earlier. Or maybe he’s always known, and now that you’re the last one, he’s coming to finish the job himself.” Haruka’s blood is practically boiling with rage, but underneath it all, the Blade Runner is afraid. “We’re leaving. Right now."

“Haru, stop.” Makoto says desperately, though he continues to stand still as Haruka buttons his jeans and reaches into the bedside table to pull out the spare revolver he keeps there. “Maybe you’re overreacting. Don’t panic until you know for sure that someone is coming.”

“I do know for sure!” Haruka snaps. “My father would never praise me for anything. Rei wouldn’t be out on the streets at this hour just to talk to me for thirty seconds. He has a perfectly functioning telescreen at his unit, so there’s no reason for him to be out. He’s coming _here, right_ now _._ ”

Makoto is quiet as Haruka continues to hustle about, completely in survival mode. He’s been mentally preparing himself for this moment for three years, but now that it’s happening, he’s more than a little lost. He doesn’t know where he and Makoto will go from here, but they can’t stay in Tokyo. But even if they leave, they’ll never stop looking, not until Makoto is dead and Haruka is tried for treason.

“Wait.” Haruka whips around to face Makoto, prepared to snap at him to get moving before they run out of time, but pulls up short. Makoto is staring at the ground with a small frown on his face, the fingers of one hand knotted into his own hair. The other is on his hip, and it doesn’t look like he’s breathing. He’s thinking hard about something. “I thought you said the surgery he received was of the highest quality?”

“The surger – Makoto, _why_ does that matter right now?”

“It can’t be undone. You said he’d never be the same. But if he repeated the words that he said when he killed Nagisa to you just now, that means he remembers, doesn’t it?”

Haruka blinks slowly a few times. He hadn't even stopped to wonder about that. “But Rei – “

“What if he was _warning_ you?” Makoto asks, finally looking up at Haruka. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe he’s always known that I was here. But if that’s the case, why didn’t he turn us in sooner? If he thought I was a threat, he would’ve had me killed immediately.”

“I saw him in the hospital after he had the procedure done. I know for a fact that it happened.”

“Nothing humans do will ever be perfect.” Makoto points out. “Something must have unraveled. Haru, I think Rei remembers more than he’s let on. I think your dad or someone else figured out that I wasn’t dead, and Rei called to warn you. He’s telling us to go.”

“Why would he do that?” Haruka demands, forcing himself back into motion. He pulls on his boots before checking to make sure that there’s a round in the revolver, and then moves back into the common area. Again, Makoto follows him, but he moves with purpose now. He’s figured out what they have to do. “Rei is the most calculating Blade Runner I’ve ever met. He would never let an android escape alive.”

“You humans are weird.” Makoto says, almost reverently, and again, Haruka stills. His thoughts wander to Rin and Seijuro. “Guilt cripples you and makes you do things you wouldn’t otherwise. If I were Rei, and I suddenly remembered that I murdered my boyfriend in cold-blood, I’d have a change of heart, too. You don’t seem to have much faith in him, Haru.”

“Why should I?” Haruka murmurs. Makoto is yet again defying every negative thing to be said about Replicants. If he were to take the test now, no one would ever know that Makoto is an android. He’s perfected empathy. He’s seeing things in Rei that Haruka himself cannot. “I watched him kill Seijuro today. He hasn’t treated me like a friend in three years. So, I’m sorry if I’m having trouble seeing why he would help me now.”

Makoto laughs softly. “Better late than never. I’m willing to bet this is his way of apologizing.”

Despite his reluctance, Haruka wants to believe that Rei remembers what happened. He wants to believe that Rei feels regret, and that he knows with absolute certainty that Nagisa died still completely and utterly in love with him.

Call him what you will, but Haruka wants Rei to live with that. He always has. And if Rei can continue on with what he did on his conscience, then maybe Haruka will learn to respect him someday.

A loud knock on the front door startles them both, and Haruka knows they’ve run out of time. If Makoto is right, Rei gave them whatever heads-up he could, but it didn’t come soon enough.

If Haruka knows his father, then the entire building is swarmed. They’ll have to confront every single Blade Runner if they want to live. And while Haruka believes they can do it, it all boils down to whether or not Makoto will consent to fight.

“You should’ve killed me when I told you to.” Makoto says sullenly, and Haruka snaps his head around to stare at him. His green eyes are fixated firmly on the door, but everything about his demeanor seems impossibly sad. “It would’ve been better for you.”

And all at once, Haruka is angry again. “Bullshit.” He hisses angrily, trying to keep as quiet as he can while still putting force behind his words. The knocking has started up again, more insistent this time. The clock is ticking, but Haruka can’t do this if Makoto isn't with him. “I would’ve been finished. I’d have had nothing left.”

Makoto’s shoulders bounce once, twice, and then he’s laughing harder than he ever has before, and the pounding on the door reaches dangerous levels in response. Haruka thinks he hears splintering wood, and he knows he’s right when Makoto makes a move for the door, moving so quickly he’s almost a blur until he’s standing in front of the door with his palm pressed against it, utilizing his strength to buy them more time.

“I’m sorry.” Makoto says, wiping at his eyes with his free hand as Haruka stares at him incredulously. “I’m not laughing at you, I just… you love me so much.”

Haruka scowls. “ _Makoto_ – “

“I never doubted you.” Makoto assures him, and while he’s smiling, something about his eyes changes, the light starts to dissipate. Despite the grin, Makoto actually looks dangerous in that moment, and Haruka knows he’s getting a small glimpse of the Replicant who never lost a fight back on the colonies. “I don’t think you should’ve let me live, but you did, and here we are. It’s your call.”

“But – “

“Haru.” Makoto cuts him off. His smile is gone, and it sounds like multiple people are trying to break the door in now. But they’ll gain no ground so long as Makoto stands in their way. “I know what you’re thinking, but I’d rather beat myself up for this later than let any harm come to you now. There are five men outside the door and ten more in the stairwell. Just say the word and I’ll kill them all. I won’t hesitate.”

“I know you won’t.” Haruka concedes, removing the safety of the pistol before raising his arms, pointing the barrel directly at Makoto’s chest. “Where do you want to go after this?”

“Someplace warm.” The man Haruka loves is disappearing. He’s retreating into himself, pulling forth the mentality of the cold-hearted android he left behind three years ago in preparation for what is to come. Haruka actually finds himself smirking. He already knows this is going to be a bloodbath. “I’m tired of looking out the window and seeing nothing but rain.”

“Anything for you, Makoto.” Haruka says. He's never been more determined about anything in his entire life. He refuses to let Makoto die here, and he'll cut down anyone who stands in his way. “Now move.”

When Makoto steps to the side, the door immediately caves in, and Haruka fires.


End file.
